At 23…

I turned a whole 24 on 13th May. So I thought I should dedicate this Month’s blog to a birthday-related topic.

I’ve been in a somewhat reflective mode for the past weeks. Since April actually - because I knew May was so close. And 13th May was even closer.

My first idea was to give an entire rundown of how 23 went. But I wasn't ready for it. And I wouldn't have had the time to put all that together so I decided to do this: 2 things 23 taught me. And 1 thing I’ve always thought about.

Here we go!

Lesson 1: We all have different journeys

It was at 23 that I truly embraced and accepted that we all have different journeys.

I mean, people always say it. I know it. But I don’t think I lived by it.

But at 23, things didn’t go as I planned. I got into this state of asking so many whys.

Why wasn’t my situation different?

Why wasn’t I at this place at this time?

I started doing this since X months ago. Why am I not where I wanted to be?

Was anything actually wrong?

Was I not doing things right?

I thought we did this together? Why am I not there but others are?

At the end of the day, I realized that we all have different journeys.

What’s working for someone now may not work for me.

What someone has now may not be the exact thing I need.

Simply because it’s not my journey.

Someone’s path is not my path.

I know it’s quite hard to find this true or be able to accept it when things aren’t going on well. But it’s true that you have a different journey. You may not have it straightforward as others did. You may have to go on a zig-zag path or something. But you will eventually get to your destination in due time.

I can’t tell you why you’re not where you want to be. But I can tell you that:

Your story and your journey are unique.

I have a different journey.

You have a different journey.

We all have different journeys.

Lesson 2: You’re not always the problem

When things don’t go as I want them to, sometimes I'm quick to conclude that I'm the problem. That I did something wrong or missed something.

However, it’s not always the case. It’s not always a problem from my end - or yours.

Sometimes, it's the system.

I was talking to a friend the other time and she said “It’s not our fault, it’s our country...”. And I agreed. I told her it was true.

And it is true. When you’re in a system (I'm using system in place of country) that's not working, it’s hard to really reach your full potential and be where you want to be. But it really doesn’t mean you can’t.

It’ll require a lot more effort than people with systems that work and enable them to thrive and be their best selves.

At 23, I found that:

You're not always the problem.

Sometimes, it’s not you. It’s the system.

But you still need to figure out how to navigate the system and breakthrough. You need to find a way to survive and eventually thrive.

The thought: "Age is just a number"

Away from what 23 taught me. I hardly ever say my age but I’m doing that today because age is just a number - I’m lying. I don’t think age is just a number or that it doesn't matter your age.

It’s a number - not just a number. And it matters because if it doesn’t, we won’t have forms giving us age ranges to tick - even if it's just to collect data. We won’t have some activities tied to age. We won’t have applications for certain things limiting them to a particular age range. We won’t have a retirement age for some professions. We won’t have people talking about things I wish I knew in my 20s and my 30s. We won’t have all these things if age was just a number.

It’s a number but it’s not just a number. It’s not just a number you count and pass or skip. As you age, you grow, and things happen. You will grow old and grey someday. And that growing old is tied to your age. You won’t be able to do certain things you're doing now. So tell me, is it just a number?

I understand that both young and old can do certain things regardless of their ages. But this - in my books - does not discount the fact that age is not just a number.

---

All in all, I’m grateful for 23. For what it taught me.

I'm grateful for family, friends and everyone who played a role.

I'm grateful for support.

Above all, I’m grateful to God for life and the strength to keep going.

Oh, it was also at 23 that I created this site and launched it. So I’m grateful for that too.

Here’s to a new year🥂

To making every bit of 24 count🥂