Anytime I’m looking for something, there are some people that are top of mind because I see them consistently or even just sometimes talking about those things.
Here are 3 instances:
At the beginning of the year, I wanted Christian books to read. And instead of searching Google first, I wanted first hand information so I reached out to a friend. I knew she was the right person to go to because she speaks about these things all the time.
There was another time that I wanted a non-fiction on relationships. I can’t remember if I searched Google first or not. But I remembered a friend shared on her IG story a book she read about relationships.
Per what I recalled, it seemed like a good book. Plus, she mentioned she enjoyed it. So I asked her (even though I couldn’t remember the title). And she shared it with me.
The last scenario...
Some months ago, a friend was watching Grey’s Anatomy (an American medical drama), and she called me in the middle of the show. She said she wanted someone to discuss it with and I came to mind.
Why?
Why does someone come to mind when you need or want a particular thing?
It's for any of these reasons:
1. What we talk about influences how others perceive us
2. People know us for what we consistently talk about
3. People associate us with the things we talk about and vice versa
What we talk about influences how others perceive us. They know us for what we consistently talk about. And associate us with those things and vice versa.
It doesn’t have to be a lot. But over time, the more you talk about something, the more people get to know you for that and associate you with such. It’s just how our brain works.
Plus, it’s how you build authority around a topic.
So, I ask again,
What do you want to be known for?
Whatever that may be,
1. Talk more about what you want to be known for
2. Minimise talking about what you don't want to be known for
Talk more about what you want to be known for and minimise talking about what you don’t want to be known for. Because in the end, they all add up - good or bad.
I know it's not as simple as ABC, but it's possible. Poco a poco. Little by little. Petit à petit.
Now, the things you talk about form a part of your external narrative and you can’t totally control that narrative once it’s out there.
You can, however, control what you say to control that narrative.
When you gradually stop talking about something, you'll eventually be forgotten for that. The opposite of this is true.
I know some people will argue that people’s opinions about them don’t matter - especially if they don’t even know the people in question. But sometimes these people matter. (This would have to be a discussion for another day.)
Happy Leap Day!
Like Google's Leap Day 2024 Doodle (kindly watch the video🥲I tried uploading it as a GIF but it didn't work), take a leap - to talk more about what you want to be known for and minimise talking about what you don't want to be known for.
Love,
D.
Most times we form "personalities" in other people's mind without realizing. lol. Good one, D.